Census 2016 – ABS: “Give Us Your Details Or We’ll Fine Ya”



Tonight, Australians from all across Australia will be completing the five-annual collection of statistics as mandated by Australian Bureau of Statistics.

For the first time in the 100+ year history of the Census, Australians are this time able to provide their details online.  That and they are being demanded to provide their names and addresses.

This seems to have pissed a few people off with some getting so angry they have signed a partition.

Others that have the actual power to tell the ABS to go fuck themselves have also joined the campaign to ‘stick it to the man’, most notably senators, Nick Xenophon, Scott Ludlum and Sarah Hanson-Young.  Oh, and Jackie Lambie.

The ABS is happy to remind us all that those found to have provided false or misleading information on the Census face an $1800 fine.

If you don’t particularly trust the ABS with your name and address and decide to leave those details out, you will be given a chance to ‘fix your fuck-up’ before being fined.

Census field officers will knock on the doors of people who have left their names off forms starting from two weeks after the Census date at which point you can tell them your name. If you aren’t home they’ll then just grab your details from the mail in your letterbox.

ABS Shakedown Crew - "Give us ya money, cuntz"
ABS Shakedown Crew – “Raaww! We’re gonna fine you.””

The ABS do note that the fine rate is low. Less than 100 people were fined after the 2011 Census. That was before the ABS got nosey.

“If it comes to outright refusal we will fine you.  We might have a hard time without your name and address though, we should’ve thought about that”


Issues in IT

As for privacy concerns related to potential system hacking, the ABS says they use the same secure keys as Census systems other western countries, none of which have ever been successfully broken into.

That they know of.

They at least assume it’s all good.

The super secure ABS security key
The super secure ABS security key


A spokesperson for the ABS also said

“We’ve spoken to a number of people about security protocols.  Steve in IT really seemed to know what he was talking about. He installed the SSL certificate on our site, you know.”

What could go wrong?

Anyone with Census inquiries should phone the Census Inquiry Service on 1300 214 531



This is the Census site as of right now.  10/10.



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