REBEL SCUM RESPONSIBLE FOR ATO WEBSITE OUTAGE

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Australian Tax Office officials have today released preliminary findings around the investigation into what the fuck went wrong with their website’s storage system earlier this week.

It turns out daughter of a disgruntled ATO Webmaster had broken into the ATO Citadel.  She then removed several hard drives from the ATO website’s storage system before deciding to pinch one.

Sneaky Bitch!
Sneaky Bitch!

Apparently the ‘rebel scum’ were looking for ‘Stardust’.  A.k.a, any resemblance of well written code.

ATO spokesperson, Grand Moff Tarkin said that the ‘Rebel Scum’ had been detected pulling hard drives at random from the upper levels of the 500 storey ATO SAN solution.  After first pulling a drive from a RAID 5 array, they continued to pull additional drives from the same array and “fucked up our shit.”

ATO Spokesperson, Grand Moff Tarkin.
ATO Spokesperson, Grand Moff Tarkin.

“Then we backed up our fucked up shit and tried to restore from a fucked backup.”  Tarkin said.

One Petabyte of data had been suspected of being lost.   Despite this, the ATO seemed to think that they had saved over half of their index.html file.  Tarkin said they were hopeful of being able to display the 404 error page correctly before tax time 2017.

It was also confirmed that no sensitive user data had been lost as one of the guys in IT had safely taken a copy to his thumb drive which he had safely stored at home.

After discovering the intrusion, Grand Moff Tarkin was said to be so angry he could “blow up a planet.”

 

 

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