Star Wars: The Force Awakens – Why Your Opinion Is Wrong

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens has been out for a few weeks now and continues to rake in huge piles of cash for the White Slavers over at Disney (George Lucas’ words, not ours).  While the film has been largely well received by viewers and critics alike, select social media nobodies are forcefully expressing wrong opinions in places where tens of people can read them.  Luckily, newz.net.au is here to give them the right one.

 

“You mean, A New Hope 2.0”

Congratulations! You’ve possibly solved the most obvious story telling device of the Star Wars movies.  George Lucas himself said that the story is supposed to work like poetry with each trilogy working as a verse that moves to the same beats as those that came before it.  It stands to reason that there should be similarities between Episode 4 and Episode 7.

When the prequels came out the general consensus was that they weren’t enough like the original trilogy.  Saying The Force Awakens is a copy of A New Hope is kind of stupid but what exactly were you expecting?

Technically The Force Awakens should have been ‘A New Hope 3.0’, unfortunately Lucas suffered a major brain fart making The Phantom Menace and thought CGI rhymed with Orange.

“Force Awakens is a worse movie than the prequels”

Really?  Although we hold serious doubts that anyone trying to pass this off as a genuine opinion isn’t an entry level troll, it is possible that they are also a millennial whose first experience with Star Wars was The Phantom Menace.  If so, then we’re sorry it had to be like this, though you probably have a better understanding of trade blockades than we ever care to.

Seriously though, if you have enough time to sit through The Phantom Menace then you have enough time to watch the Red Letter Media reviews which can articulate in a much more precise way than we ever could exactly why you are a fucking idiot.  They’re also pretty funny.

 

 

“It was just a device to sell toys”

No shit Sherlock.  Have you not been to the shops lately?  There is even Star Wars Covergirl Makeup for fucks sake.

Did you really think Disney of all companies wasn’t going to brand everything they possibly could?

 

“Rey is a female heroine because of PC pressure for strong female characters.  She is also a casual racist”

This one is interesting.  Unfounded but interesting.

Says Princess Leia before she did a bunch of Coke and got fat.
Says Princess Leia before she did a bunch of Coke and got fat.

 

“It was shit”

So are you but you haven’t made $2 billion and never will.

Comments, opinions, rage and trolling